When men talk about cancer
Nothing to do with a male version of the phenomenally successful Boots the Chemist Christmas tagline….
It’s all to do with:
Four men. Four cancers. Four extraordinary stories of agency, resilience, and survivorship. Who all said an empathic Yes to Life.
Cancer can be an incredibly lonely place.
For many men, diagnosis comes with another burden: the expectation to stay strong, stay quiet, and carry the weight alone. But what if strength isn’t found in silence?
These four men have very different diagnoses. Their paths have been unique. Yet they share something remarkable.
None accepted that they were simply passengers in their own story.
Each chose to become an active participant in their care, working alongside their medical teams while nurturing the parts of health that medicine alone cannot reach.
“Different diagnoses. Different cancers. One shared belief: there is always value in caring for the whole person.”
Dale Atkinson, 35
Stage IV Oesophageal Adenocarcinoma
When Dale was diagnosed, he was told the words no one wants to hear:
Inoperable. Incurable. Palliative care only.
But instead of accepting there was nothing more to be done, he became curious.
He immersed himself in understanding his disease. He worked collaboratively with his medical team (including Amanda King ND), researched emerging evidence, asked difficult questions, and made significant dietary and lifestyle changes to support his body alongside treatment.
His story isn’t about rejecting medicine.
It’s about refusing to surrender his power.
“Curiosity became one of Dale’s greatest medicines.”
John Bennetts, 70
Stage IV Melanoma & Prostate Cancer
John’s journey has been one of belief.
Not blind optimism, but learning to master his inner world when everything outside felt uncertain.
He discovered the importance of asking for help; a lesson many men are never taught.
He read extensively, attended courses, sought mentors, and found people whose experience resonated with his own. Along the way he learned to trust his intuition, make informed choices, and approach healing with courage.
John quietly challenges outdated ideas of masculinity.
He reminds us that vulnerability is not weakness.
It is one of our greatest strengths.
“The strongest thing a man can sometimes do is ask for help.”
Murray Cluley, 57
Stage IV Renal Cell Carcinoma
Murray’s story reminds us that resilience doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay.
It means finding balance.
He focused on nourishing himself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Nutritious food. Holistic therapies. Community. Movement. Mindset.
Not because any one thing promised a cure, but because each decision helped him keep moving forward.
One step.
One choice.
One day at a time.
His journey shows how seemingly small lifestyle changes can become powerful companions alongside conventional treatment.
“Resilience isn’t about denying reality. It’s about deciding how you’ll meet it.”
Tim Messom, 52
Stage III Colorectal Adenocarcinoma
For Tim, healing began with taking back control.
His diagnosis became an invitation to become informed, to ask questions, and to actively participate in every decision about his health.
He speaks passionately about the connection between mind and body.
Our thoughts influence our feelings.
Our feelings influence our chemistry.
And our beliefs shape the way we experience illness.
Tim believes that while we can’t always control what happens to us, we can influence how we respond.
Hope, he says, is not passive.
It is a practice. And as we say: There is no such thing as false hope.
“Taking ownership of your health doesn’t mean controlling everything. It means engaging with what you can.”
Four stories. One message.
These men are not defined by their diagnoses.
Nor are they suggesting there is one right path through cancer.
Their stories are deeply personal.
But together they remind us that while medicine treats disease, healing often asks us to care for the whole human being.
Body.
Mind.
Community.
Purpose.
Hope.
Perhaps most importantly, they remind us that no one should have to walk this road alone.
“Agency doesn’t replace treatment. It transforms how we live alongside it.”
And then there’s Jude…
It’s fitting that conversations around men’s health are increasingly embracing vulnerability.
Elite athletes, public figures, and role models are beginning to show that courage isn’t about hiding emotion, it’s about having the confidence to express it.
The more we normalise these conversations, the less isolated people facing serious illness will feel.
Because vulnerability isn’t the opposite of strength.
It’s where strength begins.
A final thought
No discussion about vulnerability would be complete without revisiting one of the most influential TED Talks ever given.
If you haven’t watched it, Brené Brown’s timeless talk remains as relevant today as ever.
“Vulnerability is not weakness. It’s our greatest measure of courage.” Brené Brown
If these stories resonate with you, consider sharing this article with someone who may need the reminder that while we cannot always choose our diagnosis, we can choose how we engage with the journey. Sometimes, that choice begins with simply knowing we are not alone.
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